Male Sexual Health: A Chat with a Client

 

Recently, I have been reading and watching different contents (some false) on sexual activities and how to improve performance. Interestingly, all of them focus on male sexual health. It makes me wonder if females don’t have sexual dysfunction.

Because of the viral nature of the false information, let me address this issue a bit.

Circa 2014/2015, I had a funny encounter with a male patient.

When he walked into my consulting room, as usual of every clinician, I sat up ready for work, hoping that his complaints would be straightforward.

When he opened his mouth and began to pour his heart to me, asking me to help his sexual life, I realized that I was in for a casual gist, not a serious medical evaluation.

“Doctor, I don’t last long in bed,” he began.

I nodded empathetically, encouraging him to continue speaking.

“I hardly spend more than 45 minutes per round,” he said shyly.

“Ehn!” I interjected. I was not sure if I heard him correctly.

He reaffirmed his complaint, and told me how some of his friends while drinking alcohol in a bar talked about their lasting 60-90 minutes per round, and they could go on and on.

He became shy in their midst. He could not talk about his “poor performance” of just 45 mins per round.

He wanted to last longer in bed, so he visited the hospital. He did well by not resorting to self-help measures which could be detrimental to his health.

We had the following discussion.

“Sir, have you ever witnessed your friends or anybody having sex?”

“Of course not,” he replied.

“It means we cannot be sure if your friends told the truth or not.” 

“Hmm!” he leaned forward to listen more to what I had to say.

“Did you ask them if they normally use aphrodisiacs or it’s their natural ability?”

“I didn’t ask.”

“Good. Has your wife ever complained that you do not satisfy her?”

“No, she hasn’t.”

“Are you sure she isn’t communicating her sexual dissatisfaction with you, but you have refused to get her message?”

“I am sure. She is not complaining; we are on good terms.”

“So, why do you want to do more than your natural ability when your wife is not complaining?”

“Er…er… I feel I could do better since others last longer than me.”

I reassured him that he was doing well. I told him that he needed to beware of “beer parlour talk.”

Under the influence of alcohol, every man is a David who had killed a Goliath; every man has done what Alexander the Great could not do. Such Dutch courage makes many people to say false things, thereby misleading others.

I told him that he was not sure if his friends used sexual stimulants which of course would make them last long. I made him realize that it was unwise of him to compare his own natural ability of 45 mins with another man’s ability of 60 mins which may be under the influence of aphrodisiacs.

“Yes, some people can last for 60 mins or more by their natural ability. They are not the gold standard,” I added.

I further informed him that a man is said to perform poorly in bed if they achieve orgasm within 1-3 minutes of onset of penetrative intercourse.

His face brightened. “So, doctor, you mean I am okay?”

“Sir, you are more than okay.

“Really?” he was surprised.

“Yes, sir.”

He was physically examined. He did few basic tests which all revealed normal findings. I reassured him and encouraged him to sieve what he hears.

He left feeling virile.

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Many people value their sexual health more than physical health. Sexual satisfaction is necessary in marriage, but not at the expense of physical health.

A man or woman who gets tired easily after doing routine work at home or office should address that problem before paying attention to sexual ability. Good sexual ability can only occur when the physical and mental aspects of health are sound.

Hypertension, diabetes, diseases of the blood vessels in the penis, excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, illicit drugs, chronic stress/psychological disturbance, etc are some of the causes of poor sexual function. These are the things the doctor evaluates when a patient complains of sexual dysfunction.

Don’t start treating your sexual illness without consulting a doctor. Some people have died in attempt to improve sexual performance through self-medication.

Cheers to your good health.

Ademola Orolu

About the writer

Ademola is a Consultant Family Physician and writer. He founded the online health magazine, The Family Doctors, and was its Editor-in-Chief from 2017 to 2020, when he wounded up the magazine to concentrate on his full-time medical practice, Nathaniel Health Consulting, Matogbun, Ogun State. 

He is an author of many books including storybooks. He regularly writes on health-promoting topics and promotes positive behavioural change in his articles.