Vaginismus: Sexual Knowledge Doesn't Always Lead to Practice

 

In most vocations, sound knowledge of the subject often translates into performance. Sex is an exception; that an adolescent has knowledge of sex doesn't mean he or she will practise it.

As concerned guardians, we often fall into the error of not discussing sex when older kids or teenagers raise the subject. We hush them into silence. Most times, the curious person goes elsewhere to get the knowledge. Unfortunately, the knowledge may be incorrect, causing problems in the future.

Our fear is that if the person has knowledge of sex, he or she would prematurely engage in it. We are wrong. Sexual education can be done in a controlled and morally-congruent manner.

Our attempt to preach chastity before marriage has caused some of us to unknowingly, and unnecessarily, illegitimize sex. Young girls and ladies are often the victims of this improper sexual education. Some of them unconsciously develop phobia for sex. 

In most affected women, sex phobia is the problem associated with their Vaginismus.

Vaginismus is an involuntary tightening of the vaginal muscles whenever an attempt is made to penetrate it. It is commoner than we think. 

When vaginismus makes sex difficult or impossible, the couple usually has a strained relationship because the spouses can't be intimate with each other. 

Vaginismus has forced many men to seek sexual gratification outside marriage because they are tired of fighting their wives or being accused of lack of understanding of their wives' sexual dysfunction.

A man once admitted to his doctor that the only child in his marriage of 7 years was a product of rape of his wife. They had not been intimate with each other since she was delivered of her baby. She didn't want any penetrative sex and refused to get medical and sexual therapy.

Most affected women blame their fear of sex on incorrect sexual education. They identify religious teachings and tribal sentiments as the primary contributors to their fear of sex. Other factors that contribute to vaginismus are past sexual abuse, background anxiety disorder, and/or frightening sexual information from peers about sex.

In our churches and mosques, we can advise single persons to delay sex till marriage without making it seem like a crime or shameful thing.

In our homes too, whenever a child begins to ask sex-related questions, it means that child is old enough to understand it. We shouldn't silence them. 

Women who have vaginismus should seek help early. Most treatments involve counseling, relaxational techniques, pelvic exercises, progressive desensitization of the vaginal muscles to touch, etc. 

Medications and surgery are not often necessary to manage a woman for vaginismus. It has a cure if the couple cooperates with medical and sexual therapy.

Like food is to the body, sex is a physiological need in marriage.

Some persons naturally don't like food. They can eat once a day and still be fine. It is wrong of them to shame those who eat three meals a day in moderate quantities. Same analogy applies to sex. We should not turn our low sexual appetite (which is normal if we have it) to the standard for everyone. This is the basis of some wrong ethno-religious teachings. It should stop...

Ademola Orolu

About the Author

Ademola is a Consultant Family Physician and writer. He is the medical director of Nathaniel Health Consulting, a family hospital in Matogbun, Ogun State. 

He is an author of many books including storybooks. He regularly writes on health-promoting topics and encourages positive behavioural change in his articles.